she cant keep the rage
from piling up and
toppling every other day
a mountain of papers
written on in red
of every hate word
that could possibly be said

some would suggest management
she would shrug her shoulders
and simply demand solutions
not hers, no, not this time
these particular days
she lay snow white of blame
at least those with unclouded
eyes, saw it that way

she had a tendency to worry
not many knew that
it kept her up at night
untill the light started peeling
away the darkness in the sky
it twisted her fingers in knots
when she tried to write
it twisted her tongue
when she sought those
reasonable words that you know
can be found and you know
will fix everything and you just
.. you just know will make
everyone see reason

she was losing her mother
slowly but surely
life had granted her a gift, yes
in preperation of this
a chance to be mother, herself
but perhaps she was selfish,
she just so wished she could have both

momma didnt understand she was
falling into that same old trap
momma didnt understand she was
undoing years of hard work
momma didnt understand that it
was, quite simply, a betrayal to love
him more then she loved the child
she had carried under her heart

momma didnt understand that if
he hurt her little girl, not once,
but twice... it would happen, again
and again..
momma just quite simply didnt understand
that her job never ended
when it came to protecting her young one

momma was desperate for a life, beyond that,
desperate for a life where she wouldnt be alone
but thier are so very few happy endings, momma
and all  you can really count upon is that,
she will still love you the day she buries you

unless you turn her away in your desperation
forget all the nights she held you just as you held her
when you cried, when she cried..
forget who she is, what she means to you,
and how she has supported you, wanted you
to move beyond what you saw as your boundaries
and got her little heart broke, every time she saw bruises

its happening again, momma
he hasnt touched you but he has lil ol me
i know i dont matter all that much, momma
im grown up now and you dont have to care,
unless you want too, but momma, why cant you care?

he has a history of violence, momma
you know what you're getting yourself into
pretty soon itll be a busted lip for you
when im long gone and he's got such a hold on you
that no longer does he have to pretend

i know i say hateful words, momma
sometimes i just get carried away
but you raised me to be strong, to have an attitude
and not let anyone beat me down
what happened to those life lessons, momma?
we fought so hard not to learn them, but
in the end violence always got its way
we didnt make the promise aloud
but i didnt think it needed to be said
after all was done and gone
we would not let this happen again

why are you letting this happen again?